To my son…..

Joshua,

You’ll be 17 tomorrow.  You’re almost an adult.  Where did the time go?  It’s hard to believe it’s been seventeen years already.  I can still remember you at 4 months old, content to sit in your swing.  Hating your crib.  Oh the colic you had!  The nights you kept me up for hours.  The smiles and giggles that made it all worthwhile!
You’ve grown into a young man.  And, a good one (most of the time).  You’re a great big brother, too!  I just want you to remember you’ll always be my baby.  You were my first child and have your own, special place in my heart always.  
I’m not the best mother in the world.  I made mistakes.  I learned a lot with you.  Like, chocolate popsicles are not easy to clean off a baby!  
I just hope you learned a few things, as well.  I hope I instilled some values in you.  That you have some pride in yourself and your choices.  That you learned it’s not what others think, but what you think of yourself that matters.  That there will be bumps in the road.  A lot of them.  Stay steadfast and keep on your course.  Fight for what you believe in.  Stay true to your heart.  
Most of all, don’t ever forget…..even for a minute….through all the ups and downs….all the arguments and good times…. I will always love you son!  Happy Birthday, before anyone beats me to it!

Seriously, lets all grow up just a bit here….

I’m mourning for all of the children taken away too early in Connecticut.

Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Olivia Engel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison N. Wyatt, 6
And for all of the adults, as well.
Rachel Davino, 29
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Russeau, 20
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27
What I’m not doing is searching for a scapegoat.  Those who are attacking the NRA, private citizens, even the president.  Blaming them for what happened.  ‘Kill the president of the NRA’ tweeted today.  
What I do understand is everyone wants someone to blame.  I blame the 20 year old who pulled the trigger.  I blame him and him alone.  He wasn’t handed the guns he used.  He took them.  He wasn’t given permission to go into the school.  He forced his way in.  He chose to do what he did and no one can change that now.  
Maybe he was mentally unstable.  Maybe not.  I, personally, cannot see how anyone could do such a horrific thing if that person wasn’t mentally unstable.  However, people have done horrid things and been in a sound state of mind.  
We’ll never know what was going through his mind.  Why he chose the actions he did.  Or why he felt the school was to receive the brunt of his force.  But, I know this.  For the actions he chose to undertake, he will forever be remembered.  But, will anyone other than the families of those lost in his wake of terror remember any of them in 10 years?  20 years?  30?  40?  You get the point.
The news, and the general public, is making this monster infamous.  Making him part of our history in years to come.  Why not make those who we’ve lost part of history and make him a vague memory instead?
You see, I’m a mother.  My youngest is just a tad older than those children. This touches home with me.  I’m also a gun owner.  I have no intention of giving up that right just because of a half-cocked monster.  I’m disheartened with our society and the quick to blame and quick to pass judgement mentality it has acquired over the years.  
It’s sad to see our society, instead of pulling together to support the families that need it right now, attacking each other.